Da Boz (da_boz) wrote,
Da Boz
da_boz

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So sick of you

*sighs softly* I let my anger get the better of me again, as I've been very stressed lately, between a job I'm starting, which is a bit longer hours I'm used too, so much paper work and meetings all amounting to absolutely nothing, and the loss of the health insurance that I'd somehow miraculously gotten (the only good thing that came out of maybe the 10 things I applied for this past summer regarding my emotional and physical needs) I'm just, slowly crumbling lately. I try not to let it show, but it's been eating at me more often then usual, and I'm far more sensitive, quick to assume and bothered by things that I would normally be very understanding about.

I just don't know what to do...I don't want everyone to hate me, I'm working on getting on some meds but...god, I can't throw pills at this and think it magically fix everything. I just don't know what else to do! Any other options I have aren't working out, and it's not like I can move anytime soon. God I'm so lonely...I wish furs nearby would at least talk to me, they all hate me too, everyone around here hates me. They never talk to me, I wish I lived someplace where the furs would like me...they all seem to live in Florida.

Anyway...*deep breath, trying not to cry* I wrote this poem shortly after reading a friends journal and...well it speaks for itself.

I just want to get away from here...someone just take me away from here...please...

You've hurt another feeling
your last I hope to say
you're terrible and unthinking
were you simply born that way?
Or was it imprinted into you
through abuse lies and deceptions
Or are you just mad at the world
and its many misconceptions
You're heartless and unfeeling
I wonder if you even own a soul
so often you blame your actions
on your lack of self control
Well, other people hurt too, you know
other people feel the pain
but you don't see them throwing fits
don't see them break under the strain

and so I tell you now
what I've said so much before
you can't go on this way
they can't take it anymore
Can't take your assumptions and anger
and the words you choose to use
and if you haven't guessed it already
I'm just so sick of you
I'd kill you if you could
Rid the word of your disease
You're no good for anyone out there
Here or across the seas
You've nothing good to offer
You're full of bitterness and spite
Resentment, hatred and jealousy
I could go on into the night
But in case you are still wondering
who the person I'm referring to could be
The person I'm so sick of
Is the angry side of me

Go back into your corner
Go to hell for all I care
Find a pit to throw yourself into
you've nothing good to share
go and take a long journey
to a place forgotten by time
you've nothing of value to give
it's time I leave you far behind
Take insecurity and doubts with you
paranoia and the blues
because you useless lot of emotions
I'm so damn sick of you.
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