God where to start, well first, I HATE my computer, it's a lousy piece of festering CRAP that never works properly. Took me a half an hour just to get on line this morning. And it's infected with spy ware out the wazoo, pop-ups everywhere, this freaking winantivirus piece of SHIT spyware has been harassing me for well over a year, continually prompting me at least 5 times a day to download its software. Even if I press cancel it STILL tries to download the crap. I've tried everything to get rid of it, NOTHING catches it. The damn thing is impossible to get rid of, and I don't have any money to have my computer looked at and get a professional to rid me of the damn thing. My parents won't pay for it either, apparently since they don't use the computer as often as I do to list auctions to sell off their stupid crap then it's not an issue for them and thereby not important.
And while we're on the subject of parents, I really HATE mine sometimes. So damned inconsiderate, every time I go off the computer for just one second, my mom swoops down like a bloody vulture to hop on line. God I'm getting so fed up with this, it's so rude and thoughtless, she could at least ASK before she barged on when I'm in the middle of talking with my friends. Then I have to wait like several hours or kick her off, just to explain what a loser I am to my friends by revealing that I sill live with my parents. God it's so embarrassing, sometimes I think I'm going to drop dead of shame...
Next there's my job coach, I'm beginning to loath her as well, she's stressing me out something awful. She used to be so nice and understanding, but after a year of looking for work for her with little luck, I think she's starting to blame me because of it. I am so SICK of that, you know that's another thing that's really pissing me off, nearly everyone around me is making me feel so inadequate, like I'm not trying hard enough. Oh I'm NEVER trying hard enough am I? Nothing I ever do is every satisfying for the people in my life, I'm just about ready to stop even bothering with her and go back to looking for work by myself because I had as much luck without her as I am with her, so it would make absolutely no difference at all.
Another thing that's making me angry about her is she tries and pushes me into all these damn 'programs', 'groups' and what not. Shoving me towards people with problems similar to mine...and I've gone along with it most of the time, filling out all the horrible never ending paperwork. You know what comes of it? NOTHING. I must have applied for at least ten different things over the past few years and NOTHING ever came of it. Now she wants me to try something else yet again, and I so wanted to just tell her to fuck off with it. Say how much I HAVE been trying, I'm doing my damn part, signing my name 'till my skin is raw, it's everyone else who seems to fail in some way. Some paperwork gets lost, someone doesn't had it in to the right person, and she just expects me to continually put up with that...hell no, screw you, I'm done with your damn useless system. Either fix it up and get back to me or just leave me the hell alone with all these damn programs.
No offense to local Rochester furs, but I fucking hate this city...*spits on it*
Next, kids...yes, you heard me, KIDS, how the hell did they get into this mix you ask, I'll tell you. They have no god damn respect, any shred of it they had has been totally stomped on an destroyed by parents who let them get away with murder and pacify their every want and desire by buying them whatever the hell they want. They don't discipline them, if I was their age I NEVER would've gotten away with the things they do, why I remember once I swore at my dad after he said 'fuck you' to me and my mom. Well I said it right back, and I'll never forget how much he hit me...but ever since then I've never sworn to him again, that's what kids today need, they need a good smack across the damn face. I'd do it myself if I wasn't afraid of getting sued by this 'sue-happy' society of ours, when the hell did people get so damned sensitive about everything?! I'm just so sick of it, can't even go outside and walk the dog without a bunch of young teens, pimples on the ass crack of society shouting things at me. That's what happened yesterday that sort of prompted this rant, you think it'd penetrate their thick skulls when I'm just ignoring the asswipes but they never shut the fuck up. God damn retarded morons...just gave them the finger and walked on.
Huuuh...*the tiger pants a little* I'm starting to run out of steam, forgetting what else I wanted to rant about. I guess another thing that's been bothering me is just...people lately. I get so many mixed messages, and I'll admit, I'm a bit slow with a learning disability, and even when it comes to the point of admitting that it's never a good enough explanation. People seem to always tell me one thing, but mean another...it's been that way my whole life. Not to be melodramatic but it really has, people always leaving me when something better comes along, when something more convenient comes along. I hate it, I just hate it. I've grown a lot this past year and I thought it'd make a big difference but it really hasn't, I thought changing myself would change people around me but it hasn't. I'm the same freaking person who's only good for Art and RP...
I know of only, maybe a handful of people who see me as anything more, who actually take the time to prove it and spend time with me. So...I really hope they won't think this entry, or anything contained in it is aimed at them *coughs*WOLFGANG*coughs*
In closing, here's some mini-rants
I got wind a certain fellow artist thought I was stalking him...an artist who, sadly, is one of the nastiest and most viciously inconsiderate jerk offs I've ever met (and I've met a lot of such people believe you me.) I was insulted at the very idea anyone would think that of me, If I was even the type of person to stalk someone I wouldn't even contemplate pouring time and effort into making it a person who's such an asshole. Though the very idea that he could be so vain is kind of amusing...so, I'm both insulted and amused at that.
There's a person always bitching about his job, yet bragging about his purchases that's really getting on my nerves. He may or may not know who he is, I don't really care, all I know is he made some nasty entries in my journal once, that I'm still upset over. Never once said he was sorry, not once, I think I apologized to him though...god he's such an ass, so sick of him pretending to be a friend of mine. If he hates me so much why doesn't he just say so and leave me alone.
Youtube video posts...yea, stop posting those please, person who can't afford a faster connection getting sick of his friends page taking an hour to download all the time here.
Mate pictures on FA...somehow I still hate those, make them go away please, and get a room.
*finally out of steams, the big burly tiger collapses, panting, and fanning himself with his tongue rolled out* ugh...my apologies to anyone who may have found this offensive, or to long to read, but this stuffs been building on me for days and I really needed to get it out before December hits, and I'd probably hold it all in for the most part.
Gee I'm hungry...*lumbers off to get something to nibble on*